Domestic Violence And Abuse 2019

Against Domestic Violence And Abuse!

Domestic violence and abuse can occur to anybody, yet the crisis is often unnoticed, excused, or even denied.

This is particularly true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is frequently minimised, yet it can leave profound and permanent scars. Noticing and acknowledging all warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one needs to live in fear of the person they love. If you recognise yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs of domestic violence and abuse, don't hesitate to reach out. There is help available for domestic violence.

When People Ask Me Why I Try So Hard To Get The Word About Domestic Violence Out? - You Can Hear In This Video Why...The Sound Of This Video Was My Ex And Me...

I have had this sound recorded for 19 years, only 3 people knew about it, I decided to bring it out now, it might help people you see what is really like behind the walls of a Domestic Violent home. The sound on this video was recorded as we were in the van, our baby was 3 weeks old, and he was between us two in the baby car seat.

Many Campaigns Have Been Launched Before To Tackle Domestic Violence And Abuse, Which Kills At Least Two Women Every Week.

Domestic violence and abuse kill more women in Europe every year than cancer or road accidents.

Men Who Beat Women Often Believe They Are Justified!

A simple mistake by an innocent woman results in a ruthless beating at the hands of the man she loves.

It could be a simple issue. Possibly she failed to empty the garbage, or maybe lunch wasn't at the right temperature, or perhaps she took too long at the local grocery store, or maybe nothing happened at all. He just beat her.

In polite society, men who pound their wives and girlfriends senseless are often viewed as out-of-control barbarians, violent and dangerous, often drunk on liquor or power or both.

And, until lately, polite

society turned a blind eye to the dilemma of the beaten women and frequently continued to treat their attackers as though nothing were

amiss.
But not all men batters know what they do is wrong and choose to do it anyway.

And researchers say alcohol and drug problems are "probably not the precipitants of domestic violence and abuse." Counsellors and behavioural researchers say that batterers often feel justified in their behaviour and that society is unfairly persecuting them for their actions.

I Am Against Domestic Violence And Abuse, Are You? - A Domestic Violence Abuser! Tell Oprah Why They Beat The Women They Love.

In a study, Dr Barnett examined the motivations of 30 batterers. The batterers say they lash out physically because:

They are letting out their violent feelings. Anger and its attendant violence are pent up and demand a release.

They "want to get her attention." The victim was hysterical or refused to listen, so the man struck her.

They want to show her who is the boss, gaining or maintaining control of the situation or her behaviour using domestic violence.

They want to teach her a lesson or get revenge for some wrong, whether real or perceived.

Batterers say that smacking or beating a spouse or girlfriend frighten the victim and allows the batterer to get his own way. I say: that rage, pressure, jealousy, possessiveness and men's competitive nature resulted in partners being punished with a beating.

"They are so desperate about keeping their wives and hit them to stop them from leaving," They are unhappy, suffering low self-esteem, and are vulnerable to stress and aggressive. They use battering to control their partners, domestic violence seems to work, so they continue."

Every Day, Three Women Die As Result Of Domestic Violence And Abuse!. - That's nearly 1,100 killed every year because of not fighting domestic violence and abuse

(OPRAH.com) "That number might not mean anything to you...unless "The Domestic Violence Victim" was your mother, your sister, your daughter," Oprah Winfrey says. Young men who admit to hitting, kicking, choking and even wanting to kill the women they claim to love are opening up to Winfrey and giving an unprecedented look inside the minds of abusers.

Sir says the first time he laid his hands on his wife, Christy, was just weeks after their wedding. He says he got jealous after a party where she was dancing with someone else.

"It set me off. I remember walking up to her and smacking her full force," Sir says.

"I grabbed her by her neck, and I kind of held her against the car.

Then, I walked her over to the bushes and threw her in there, and I just started choking her.

It was with every bit of rage, every bit of anger I've ever had."

After the first incident of domestic violence and abuse, Sir says he held a gun to his head.

"It was very hard for me to come to grips with the man that I was," he says.

Sir promised Christy domestic violence and abuse would never happen again, and she forgave him.

People are more likely to be hit, beat up, physically injured, or even killed in their own homes by another family member than anywhere else, and by anyone else in our society.

Though Sir Swore To His Wife That The Domestic Violence And Abuse Would Stop, It Continued For The Next Two-And-A-Half Years. - Even while Christy was pregnant.

She didn't want to be intimate with me, she didn't want to have sex with me, and I got very furious," Sir says. "I got on top of her and sat on her stomach."

Christy says Sir choked her and covered her nose and mouth so she couldn't breathe. "I was just thinking: 'Oh my gosh, I'm going to die right now. Is this really happening?'

When he was in a rage and beating Christy, Sir says he did want her to die. "I had every intention to take her life. I felt like I had power and control over something in my life," Sir says. " Domestic violence made me feel invincible."

Luckily, Christy survived domestic violence and abuse.

"By the grace of God, reality would come back to me as the rage would decrease," Sir says. "I look back now, and I can see that at that time when the rage would come, it was like tunnel vision. I would try to express my anger and my disappointment the only way I knew how. And that was through domestic violence and abuse."

Eventually, Christy left Sir and gave him an ultimatum -- either they would include Christ in their marriage, or she would not return to Sir. "I went home and gave my life to Christ," Sir says. "With that [freedom] came the relationship with my wife. It was so much better."

Sir says it's been about two years since he last hit Christy. "If one of our arguments were to progress and continue to escalate, instead of adrenaline, it's knotted," he says. "I'll have knots in my stomach, and I'll say, 'Okay, we have to stop talking.' That allows me to step aside and pray and calm down."

Christy says that if Sir were to ever hit her again, she would leave. "He has full knowledge of what he needs to be doing as a man and a father and a husband," she says. "If he does not own up to those responsibilities, then I'm better than that, and my kids deserve better than that." No more domestic violence and abuse!

Though Sir Says The Domestic Violence And Abuse Have Stopped, He Admits It's An Everyday Struggle. 

Though Sir can't speak for all men, he believes his own abusive behaviour was triggered by his past. "Kids are precious -- they record everything," he says. "I grew up in domestic violence and abusive household, so I didn't know how to verbally communicate with my wife without putting her down. I didn't know how to verbally disagree with her and say, 'We don't see eye to eye,' and be okay with that."

Does Sir believe that every man who hits a woman once will hit her again?"I say yes because I hit [Christy] more than once -- there was a second occasion, there was a third," he says. "Do I think domestic violence and abuse is a cycle that can be stopped? Yes."

Tony is another man who admits to having caused domestic violence. In an e-mail to Winfrey, he said he beat a previous girlfriend so severely she bled. "I couldn't express myself verbally, so I would take it out on her physically," Tony wrote. "The thing that triggered me was that I was insecure as a person. To see her stare at another man, or to see her have a conversation with another man, or if she confronted me about anything, it enraged me."

Though Tony says he knew, even at the moment, that he shouldn't be doing what he was doing, he says he couldn't stop the domestic violence and abuse.

Today, he says he's trying to make amends for his previous actions of domestic violence and abuse by speaking out against domestic violence and abuse whenever he can. "[I want] to say, by grace and remorse, that I'm still here today," he says. "I made it through." NO MORE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

Tony says it felt like he "blacked out" during domestic violence and abuse. "You don't understand what's going on," he says. "I completely own up to [what I did], but in that rage, it's like your brain wires, they aren't clicking."

He says being in domestic violence and abusive relationship is like being in drug addiction. "It becomes like your bond in the sense that the woman is like cocaine inside of that relationship. That's the only connection you have because there's no real love," he says. "In order to overcome it, it's almost like you have to separate, go to rehab, move out of the dope house and never come back."

Domestic Violence And Abuse Are Never Acceptable! - Sir and Tony say during domestic violence, it's the emotional abuse that leaves the deepest scars.

If You See Domestic Violence And Do Nothing You May As Well Lend A Hand!

"The internal abuse, the demoralising and demeaning of a woman, lasted longer than the physical abuse," Tony says. "The bruises heal. On the inside, you strip away their pride, force them to compromise their self-worth, their self-respect."

Tony says a grooming process tends to take place within domestic violence and abusive relationships. "In a sense, you gain their trust, but it's all lust and lies. The relationship is built on deception," he says. "They feel like you love them, and when you get close enough to them, you're able to critique them and criticise them in a way that they feel like, 'He loves me, so I need to change this.'"

The grooming, Sir and Tony say, stems from the man's own lack of self-worth. "In public, I'm a very confident male; at home, I'm very insecure," Sir says.

It's an issue Sir says he and his wife are still working through. "She still heals from the verbal abuse. I took almost every secret that she gave me to in an argument and threw it back at her as an insult," he says. "So it took a while to kind of have communication."

Many people who have never experienced domestic violence and abuse wonder why it isn't easy for a woman to leave after the first time she's hit. If a woman does leave immediately, would an abuser get the message? "Would a man continue to hit a woman who refuses to be hit?" Winfrey asks.

"I think it's different for each man," Sir says. "To me, it could have been reversed in the sense of, 'Okay, I'm going to have to tame this now.' Or the opposite is, 'I shouldn't have done that.'".

Behind the Wall - Stop Domestic Abuse/Violence.

Domestic Violence And Abuse; It's EVERYBODY'S Business! - Domestic violence and abuse should not happen to anybody.

But sadly it does - and when it does, there is a help. Perhaps you have lived with domestic violence and abuse, possibly domestic violence happened just once; maybe you work or live next to someone who is being abused right now.

Whoever you are, get help, please.

As many as 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence and abuse at some point during their lives, and it accounts for almost a quarter of violent crime.

Women and children fleeing violent partners often become homeless and are forced to live in temporary accommodation for some time.

But it's still better to walk away from domestic violence and abuse and stay alive. Its time they will build a better home with no domestic violence.

Friends and families of those who may be in danger of domestic violence and abuse can also call for support.

Don't turn your face the other way, don't ignore domestic violence; you could save someone's life!

Thank You To All My Domestic Violence Visitors!

Thank you for reading " Domestic Violence And Abuse2019".

If this lens applies to you, you just need to remember two things: first, domestic violence is never okay; second, you are not alone.

Help about domestic violence and abuse is there if only you ask.

SAFETY ALERT

If you are in danger of domestic violence and abuse, please use a safer computer, or call 911, your local hotline, or the U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 and TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims of domestic violence and abuse or anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services.

If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 800 799 SAFE 7233 or TTY 1 800 787 3224.

Domestic Violence And Abuse In The UK

The 24-hour freephone number is: 0808 2000 247

The helpline will provide access to 24-hour emergency refuge accommodation, as well as an information service, including safety planning and translation facilities to thousands of women who suffer at the hands of an abusive partner.

The new helpline will join together the Refuges' and Women's Aid existing helpline numbers to provide a single and unique freephone service. It builds on the charities' support services for women and children experiencing domestic violence and abuse.

The Government is committed to tackling domestic violence and abuse, an abhorrent crime which kills 2 women a week.

This vital new national helpline will help ensure the safety of thousands of women and children who are in danger at home because of a violent partner.

Women at risk will be able to get the help they need, when they need it, quickly, safely, and around the clock.

Do something brave today, Please get help! Say No To Domestic Violence And Abuse

Fatima Stevens

 

Domestic Violence Awareness - Blog

Domestic Violence Awareness-Blog talks about the so-called Domestic Violence Cycle -Domestic Violence Awareness is never enough to stop that brutal cycle.  

The Domestic Violence Cycle which generally has three phases:

1. Increased tension: The tensions accumulated in everyday life, the injuries and threats caused by the aggressor impact the victim and cause a sense of imminent danger.

2. violent attack: the aggressor mistreats the victim physically and psychologically; These mistreatments tend to escalate in frequency and intensity.

3. Honeymoon: The abuser now engages the victim with affection and attention, apologizing for the aggression and promising to change (he will never again engage in violence). 

This cycle is characterized by its continuity in time, that is, by its repeated repetition over months or years, and the phases of tension and appeasement may be increasingly smaller and the period of violent attack increasingly intense. Usually, this pattern of interaction ends where it first began. In limit situations, the culmination of these episodes could be murder. Domestic violence a pattern of behaviour by which a partner, boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend or sometimes even former partner uses any type of abuse such as physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse and/or financial abuse. It is a crime that affects thousands of people regardless of age, economic status, race, immigration status or sexual orientation. Victims often feel fear, feelings of dependence and/or insecurity. And the children of the victims will face these same realities.

                                  

Types of Abuse Physical Emotional Abuse / Psychological Abuse Economic Stalking and Harassment Sexual Abuse With All The Domestic Violence Awareness In The World, We Are Still Powerless To Protect Victims.

Violence against women a complex and multidimensional phenomenon, that cuts across social classes, ages and regions, and has featured reactions of non-reaction and passivity on the part of women, seeking them to find straightforward and/or conformist solutions. There was a great reluctance to bring this type of conflict into the public space, where it has long been silenced. Each woman's reaction to her victimization situation is unique. These reactions should be viewed as psychological survival mechanisms that each act differently to support the victimization. Many women do not consider the mistreatment to which they are subjected, abduction, harm, injury, defamation or sexual coercion and rape by spouses or partners as crimes. But it is a crime, it is a big crime, and we need more domestic violence awareness in the world, we need to help more, we need to educate people out there. And that is the reason that I have created The  

THE CHILDREN GROWING UP WITH DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Children may be considered victims of domestic violence as:

• witnesses to domestic violence: This includes witnessing or hearing abuses inflicted on the victim, seeing physical signs after episodes of violence or witnessing the consequences of this violence on the abused person;
• tools of abuse: An offending parent may use their children as a form of abuse and control;
• Victims of abuse: Children may be physically and/or emotionally abused by the perpetrator (or even, in some cases, by the victim himself).

If you have children, just try to remember that if you tolerate domestic violence not only you putting your life a risk you are risking your children lives too. Not only that, you are teaching them that is ok to tolerate it, so your daughter can grow up to allow herself to be a "victim" because she has seen you accept that name and your son could grow up to be the abuser because of what he has seen at home. Because he will grow up believing that is ok since you allowed that behaviour to go on at your home, near your children. Stop the vicious circle, teach your kids that it's not ok to live like that. Teach what is right and wrong and trust me; there is nothing right about domestic violence, nothing at all. Your children deserve better, YOU DESERVE BETTER.

ARE YOU BEING A VICTIM?

Some issues can help you understand if you are a victim of domestic violence, such as:  

1. Are you scared of your boyfriend or girlfriend's temper?
2. Are you afraid of his reaction when you don't have the same opinion?
3. Does he/she continually ignore your feelings?
4. Do you enjoy the things you say?
5. Are you trying to ridicule him or make him feel bad in front of his friends or others?
6. Has he/she ever threatened to harm you?
7. Has he/she ever hit you, kicked, pushed or thrown you with an object?
8. Can't you be with your friends and family because he's jealous?
9. Have you ever been forced to have sex?
10. Are you afraid to say no when you don't want to have sex?
11. Are you forced to justify everything you do?
12. Is he/she continually threatening to reveal your relationship?
13. Have you been wrongly accused of being involved in or having sex with others?
14. Whenever you want to go out, do you have to ask permission?

 

Now let me tell you a story about a beautiful girl that Unfortunately didn't survive Domestic Violence.

Jessica Casalvera

I guess some people possess that magic which remains behind even after they leave, I'm hoping Jessica's story touches somebody that needs to be encouraged to get help. I only found out about Jessica's story because her mom left a comment on my other Domestic Violence article. Now both her mum and her dad are my facebook friends. I have massive respect for them, I respect the pain of loss they live with. I asked to write about her, and her mum has given me permission to do so. Cases like Jessica's should be all over the news. People should be aware of how lethal Domestic Violence really is!

A lot of people read about these cases and assume it wouldn't happen to them, but it can! If you happen to question Jessica's parents Kathy Yates Yetter and Travis Yetter, I'm positive that under no circumstances they thought Domestic Violence would be likely to take away their own wonderful girl, but it did! She was just 20-year-old

Jessica Casalvera was indeed shot and murdered by her ex-boyfriend, 18-year-old Ramiro Benitez. Right after the shooting, police stated he then turned the gun on himself. Jessica Casalvera was born on April 13, 1989, in Newark, Delaware. Such a brief life for Jessica, she was and always will be loved by her family and her friends. Her brothers Eric, Nathan, Travis 10 and sister Katie have lost their dearly loved sister to Domestic Violence. Jessica was a marvellous daughter and sister, as well as a good friend to everyone that knew her. Her loved ones say she never failed to put a smile on their face with her excellent sense of humour. Jessica was taken away from her loving family on March 23, 2010, in the act of domestic violence. She will always be without a doubt missed by each and everyone that knew her.

 

 

 Jessica's family continues to honour her by educating people about domestic violence and also joining Child Inc. of Delaware in their efforts to protect victims of domestic violence. Jessica has been an inspiration to everyone that knew her. For that reason allow Jessica to become an inspiration for you as well, If you are actually struggling with domestic violence, please take that one particular step Jessica attempted for so long. Unfortunately, Jessica didn't make it, but you still can!!!!! Leave and never go look back. Jessica Casalvera, who was killed in Middletown, Delaware. 

Jess loved life. She was murdered just 3 weeks before her 21st birthday. She was getting ready to start a new job and get her re-certification in cosmetology. She wanted to meet a nice man who treated her with kindness and respect, eventually, marry and have several children. She loved family dearly and just wanted one of her own. This Is How Jessica's Domestic Violence Story Ended Please Don't Let The Same Happen To You. RIP Beautiful Jessica!

Middletown Woman's Fatal Relationship Sends Universal Message Jessica Casalvera. This Is Her Story A video from Jessica's mum Kathy Yates

Domestic Violence Awareness - Blog Video

What is physical abuse? Someone pushes you Someone slaps you or punch you. Someone strangles you. Someone you with something, shoes, golf clubs, rugby clubs, hammers or belts.   Someone smashes things near you to cause you to fear. You get knives involved or pieces of broken glass on the floor. Someone throws even a light item like a cloth or a T-shirt at you. Somone gag you when you want to scream, during the physical confrontation.  Someone spit or pee on you. Someone beat you severely, pulling your hair. Someone Shouts so loud that you feel scared.  

Where To Seek Help

In an emergency, call The 24hr freephone National Domestic Violence Helpline (run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge) is available on 0808 2000 247 hours a day, 7 days a week. Before you call   Be sure that you are safe when you call the helpline. If you can use a public phone just in case, your partner that is causing the abuse is monitoring your calls or the phone you will be using. Be safe!